Bears Causing Problems in N.J. Suburbs
"Across semi-rural northwestern New Jersey, still within commuting distance of New York City, lots of people have a bear story."
Commuting distance for people or for bears? You don't think Fozzy or Yogi understand the NJ Transit system or the PATH, do you? Could NYC have its own bridge and tunnel bear problem soon? After reading this story, I sure as hell hope not.
The anecdotal lead here is nuts.
- posted by matt @ 6/28/2003 02:00:00 PM
Thief in pinch, cops in clinch
"A break-in at a Queens restaurant yesterday caused a big commotion when the burglar got stuck in the chimney - and cops and firefighters trying to rescue him got into a fight."
- posted by matt @ 6/28/2003 01:46:00 PM
Homeless Woman Masquerading as Officer Robbed 4, Police Say
"A 56-year-old homeless woman has been masquerading as an undercover police officer and robbing elderly people, mostly in and around Greenwich Village, since March, the authorities said yesterday."
Call me crazy, but I think I've seen this lady before.
"Ms. Quatra, who was described as 5 feet, 5 inches tall, weighing about 145 pounds with brown hair, wears a police-type badge around her neck when she approaches her victims, said Sgt. Greg Garland, who is overseeing the investigation into the robberies. She tells them they are being followed by two men who are planning to rob them and persuades them to give her their money for safe-keeping."
- posted by matt @ 6/28/2003 01:31:00 PM
Child Wrapped In Duct Tape For Bed Wetting
"A stepfather is under arrest in Brooklyn for wrapping an 11-year-old child in duct tape and placing the boy in a bathtub."
- posted by matt @ 6/26/2003 03:20:00 PM
Woman admits to killing daughter in attempted exorcism
At a proceeding in front of Manhattan State Supreme Court Justice Daniel Fitzgerald on Wednesday, Wright said, "I put her in the tub and tried to bless her."
You know, come to think about it, when I'm on the train and someone sneezes on me, that's probably all they're doing. They're blessing me. Gee, thanks.
- posted by matt @ 6/26/2003 03:17:00 PM
Suspicious-package scare jangles nerves at U.N.
"One of the initial readings for radiation had caused concern though subsequent readings proved to be negative," Haq said.
Is it just me, or are those tests always wrong the first time? "Well, it scared the shit out of us when Bob first ran the test, but then Mary kindly informed Bob that he was a dolt and was doing it all wrong."
- posted by matt @ 6/26/2003 03:12:00 PM
Flushing man gets 50 years in grisly Astoria knife slay
"A homeless man from Flushing was sentenced Monday to the maximum punishment of 50 years to life in prison for slaughtering two employees with a 17-inch butcher knife at an Astoria supermarket. "
I remember when this happened. Just like you and your grocery store, people in the neighborhood knew the two guys that were killed. They maybe didn't know their names, but they certainly saw them enough times to make a connection. This hit them pretty hard.
- posted by matt @ 6/25/2003 06:15:00 PM
As Reported by the NY Post
"Three Daily News deliverymen were accused of stealing expensive car headlights from Staten Island homeowners under the cover of darkness, police sources said."
You think they'd run the same story if the lead started "Three New York Post deliverymen were accused..."
- posted by matt @ 6/25/2003 06:01:00 PM
Critter crackdown has no bite
"Four years after the city outlawed the sale or possession of nearly 200 animals, including familiar pets like iguanas and ferrets, few owners have been hunted down, and it appears that the law is frequently skirted or ignored."
Due to the lack of diligence of the NYPD, there may be dangerous, monkeypox-soaked Prairie Dogs roaming the mean streets of New York. Violent crime be dammed. We must capture these little buggers.
"Last week, an Illinois company, K&D Exotic Pets, advertised prairie dog pups on its Web site for $150 each. A Web site for Wild Animal World, of Peoria, Ariz., said lion cubs could be had for $1,800; spider monkeys for $7,000; kinkajous for $2,800, and giraffes for $22,000 to $40,000."
I don't even know where I'd put a giraffe. What I'd feed it. What I'd name it. Do you take them for walks? Do they have litter boxes? Is there a giraffes FAQ somewhere I can read?
- posted by matt @ 6/24/2003 05:51:00 PM
Gov can save token booths
"Keeping token booth clerks in subway stations deters crime and bolsters the city's fight against terrorism, the Straphangers Campaign, a transit advocacy group, has argued."
Is there anything in New York City that doesn't bolster the fight against terrorism? Never mind those guys with the big scary guns... the token booth clerks will nab Osama himself when he tries to jump a turnstile. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see these jobs (possibly) saved. I'm just a little sick of hearing the "fight against terrorism" used as a reason for anything besides, uh, fighting terrorism.
- posted by matt @ 6/24/2003 05:29:00 PM
FEET ON THE STREET
Peter Moskos, a former Baltimore City police officer, is calling for more cops on NY streets, less in cars. He makes a lot of sense. When you see a cop car rolling by, it's so easy to hide whatever illegal thing you're doing (like smoking in a bar, for instance). Most times, the cops are taking a deep drag on their cigarette or something along those lines, anyway. But when they're walking by, swinging those sticks they're so fond of carrying, it's harder for the "perps" to hide what they're doing and easier for the cops to figure out that something wrong is happening.
- posted by matt @ 6/23/2003 04:08:00 PM
Guardian Angels seek relevance in face of low crime, terror fears
"Most New Yorkers waiting for the No. 7 train these days worry as much about terrorists as they do about street toughs."
See what I'm saying here? People don't care about terrorism anymore. Except for our friends in the silly hats and shiny red jackets. Turns out they don't have much to do these days.
"Salinas opened with praise for the Angels' vigilance on a recent patrol, when they spotted a hot dog cart but no vendor on a street near the Empire State Building.
"The Angels surrounded the cart, established a 'secure perimeter' and called the New York Police Department, Salinas said. The incident ended when the vendor returned from the bathroom."
- posted by matt @ 6/23/2003 03:58:00 PM
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